The Waiting...

...is definitely the hardest part.  (You are so wise, Tom Petty.) (You must have had IVF before you wrote that song...)  Thankfully, we are now only 24 hours away from knowing the outcome...maybe less!  I will go in at 8:30 tomorrow morning and give some of my blood...

I am planning to ask what our next steps will be either way so I can go ahead and start to wrap my brain around what will be next on this crazy adventure.  

I calculated last night that by the time we learn the results, I will have had 58 shots since April 2. Make that 59 counting the blood they will draw tomorrow... I can definitely say I have no fear of needles.  (Oh, plus accupunture- I can't even begin to count all of those needles- I'd say 15-30 each visit...!)

The past week has been OK for the most part.  I am starting to feel a little more normal- my Grimace stomach is starting to deflate a little although the progesterone is making me crazy hungry!

Brad is still doing great with the shots- tonight may be our last shot (if result is negative), but if it's positive he'll get to give me at least 60 more...(until 10 weeks of pregnancy).

OK.....

I'm gonna be honest here...I took a home pregnancy test this morning and it was negative.  So, please know that I am prepared for that to be the answer.  I have had trouble with home tests in the past and it may be to early and all that, but it was clearly negative.  It didn't even tease me for a second.  

One thing that I learned from seeing that minus sign was that I didn't really realize how much I truly believed this could work.  I thought I was pretty guarded and "cautiously optimistic" but I was actually a little surprised it wasn't positive!  I mean we put not one, but two completely developed blastocysts in there-- they are well on their way to being a baby...how can it not work, right?  Well, stats say it only works 40-50% of the time and as Dr. Hines told us from the beginning- it will either be 0 or 100% for us.  

I am prepared to be the 0% tomorrow.  (As prepared as I can be.)  I am actually glad I cheated and took the home test- I think it may have softened the blow for me a bit.  

It's not over.  We do still have one little popsicle blastocyst in the freezer and will definitely go ahead and do another transfer- supposedly it's not as bad as all these shots, etc...  But after that, I believe we will start praying that there truly is a stork out there somewhere... (I think he may live next door to the Tooth Fairy.) 

Thanks again for reading and praying and loving us.  Will let you know the definite result tomorrow as soon as possible.