Cautiously Optimistic- is this an oxymoron?

It's now been about 24 hours since our transfer- I am still in my pj's and resting...it's a rainy day so I don't feel so guilty about lounging around...

The transfer went very well. It was uncomfortable but not painful. At the time of transfer we had 4 blastocysts that had kept growing since the last report. They had chosen the best 2 for transfer- one was good quality and the other was OK. The remaining 2 they watched through the afternoon (because they were not looking too good) and then called this morning to let me know that one was "freezable."

I won't get into the gory details of the transfer but we did get to watch on a sonogram screen- we saw that I do have some signs of hyperstimulation- very enlarged ovaries- they are pushing on everything including my uterus (and bladder- I have to use the restroom VERY frequently). I have some fluid in the area but nothing to be alarmed about. My uterus looked good and once the doctor had his route mapped out he called for the lab...she came in with a loaded catheter and within minutes we saw a flash of white on the screen in my uterus- they were in there!

The lady from the lab took the catheter to make sure that both were missing from the tube (apparently sometimes one tries to stay in) and minutes later she gave us the OK that both were indeed in their new home...

We talked with Dr. Hines a few minutes about how things seemed to turn from going so well to having just a few embryos left and about the quality...He said that it may indicate that there is a problem and that may be why we have had so much trouble up to this point...He said not to worry about it for now, just to be hopeful for these 2 we put in.

Well, that's kinda like saying here's some really discouraging news but I need you to be positive even though I just admitted there may not be a reason to be...kind of impossible not to worry about- especially when this is the final step in the infertility process...

Anyway, I'm not sure what I expected to feel like after the transfer, but it was emotional and hard to be excited and hopeful like I was before the procedure. Definitely a lot more pressure on the little blasts that are in there right now!!! Brad stayed home with me all afternoon- we rested and read and just had a lazy day. Mom came and fed us and we both slept well last night- relieved that the final step is complete.

I will continue progesterone shots at least until next Tuesday when we go in for a blood test for pregnancy. If it is negative, I stop shots and wait for my period and if it is positive we'll continue shots until 10 weeks of pregnancy and of course be out of our minds happy.

I will be honest and admit that I am bracing myself. "Cautiously optimistic" is what Dr. Hines has told us to be- I am probably erring toward cautious after the report on the progress and quality of the blastocysts...

You have all been so supportive and positive over the past 6 weeks and we thank you for that. I will post our results as soon as I feel ready to- please understand if we are not answering phone calls and texts that day- either outcome, I think we'll need a little time to let it absorb.

Again, thank you for everything and please continue to pray for the little blasts in my uterus- I am talking to them and telling them all the great people who already love them so much---- if they will just grab on!